up in the air.

there's something about being up there among the clouds, the view is always unreal and I feel so special to be able to witness the clouds from such a (up close and) personal level. when you're stuck on a plane for five hours there's not a lot you can do, so my time up there consisted of listening to music and lots of thinking. things have changed in my life lately, but I'm using those changes to push me forward and do things that make me happy. to grow (up) and to change myself in ways that I need to. I'm excited for this journey, I've been enjoying it so far. Everything about the future still might be up in the air, but I can't wait to see what else is in store and share it all with you along the way. I'm really proud of where I'm going, and I'm so thankful for every experience in my life that brought me here to where I am today. 

little things.

today was a windy, freezing cold day, I had high hopes of spending my day off doing something out in the warm sunshine.. but instead Chase surprised me and took me out for a french fry date. sometimes I think that we(i) expect more than we should. out of life, out of one another, out of everything. I usually always have high expectations of well.. everything (which sometimes ends up ruining whatever the thing may be). when you have ideas in your head about of how things are supposed to be, and they don't live up to what you wanted, it lets you down. it also puts up a shield towards the things that could be making you happy. I've been trying harder lately to kind of go with the flow and not get my hopes too high, in the end I've felt how great it is to just enjoy the little things in life. 

my inspiration.

these are my great grandparents. william and constance. bumpa and nana. their love and life is/has been the most inspiring thing in my life, and I'm so lucky to have gotten to not just know them, but to have developed a relationship with them all the way into my twenties. not many people can say that about their great grandparents, or even their grandparents. my bumpa passed away last sunday (march 9th), even though it's very sad, we all knew it was coming, so we were able to say goodbyes, see family, share stories, reminisce, laugh, cry, and listen. he left behind a beautiful wife of seventy-one years, three children, five (plus two step) grandchildren, and seven great grandchildren. 

he and my nana met when they were eleven and twelve years old. she's ninety three and he was ninety four. he fought for our country, he/they traveled the world, collected things from every place they went (and even though that made for a lot of things all around the house, they are such great treasures to leave behind).
to me they were/are who I want to be seventy years down the road. their marriage was so cute, i couldn't help bust smile every time i was around them. in the end, it was hard for him to hear my nana's soft quiet voice, but they still held hands every night.
he could still recall every moment of his life, recite poems, sing songs, it was pretty amazing. I want to be like that. he/they read books, took walks, camped, listened to music, learned all sorts of things. spent their time on things meaningful. I look at the generations now (even myself), it makes me sad to see how people value their time now a days. I don't want to waste my life, I want to live and inspire others. just like them. I'm so proud to be a part of their family. he will forever be in my heart.

he was in the Navy.

standing in the spot they met when they were just kids. 

my second birthday. 

walks |01

when I take the boys I nanny on a walk they are so quiet. they look around, smile, point, wave, but they're silent. they're looking at what may be an ordinary every day walk/drive to some people, but with eyes that are growing and learning. that are curious. they always want to collect rocks or sticks or silly objects that to them are treasures, but to me, I always make them throw them down before we go inside. yesterday I took them on a walk and looked at things from their point of view. I was quiet, I collected, I took it all in. I thought, I imagined, I took a breath. so many people live their lives passing things by, missing out, looking at things with the wrong attitude and perspective. I don't want to be like that, I don't want to miss out. there's so much of the world out there. I want to see it all, collect, find, experience, breathe, learn, grow. I think that's what life is all about.